WEll, things aren't very fantastic.. i mean work. haha... but people is great! im glad i was in GOD in the first rotation. coz.. the ppl made me feel at home. really nice.

but... i still miss singapore. still miss my friends. i think when i grow up, i'd like to be based in Singapore, but working or travellling out to work. Perhaps... a tour guide? haha.. man! my sense of direction could probably kill everyone. hai.. im already 19. yet i dunnoe wad i wanna be.. lolZ

Is it wrong to be true to how u feel? Is it wrong to not know what to do? Is it wrong to .. i dunnoe. i forgot.

I guess it takes a toll on you after a while, esp since you're away from your friends, your family, and u feel like a stupid idiot for not knowing anything and not being able to recall or apply learnt knowledge.

learn abt myself. choosing the right attitude. guess its harder than it really is huh?

what have i learnt? have i really learnt more abt myself? become stronger? have i learnt new things? a consultant.. am i really up to it? isn't internship supposed to be abt learning? guess its both huh?

its shittified when u have nothing to do. sucks when u feel lost. craps when u feel useless. i noe it. coz ive been feeling like this for so long. perhaps.. expectations shld be lowered? how do i go abt suggesting? i feel dumb sometimes. tasks have been assigned. but.. i dunnoe how to do them. and yet i complain of not having things to do. how do you take a broad perspective of things? how do u assess something critically? i've never been able to do it well.. i hate all this.

i hate not being able to go out with friends. i hate not being able to meet for macs or dinner at lagoon. i hate not being able to sleep on my own bed. i hate not being able to understand everything. i hate feeling ostracised. i hate being stuck at home everyday. i hate having to worry if i have to go for dinner already nt.

remembering all 95% of happiness and not harping on the 5% of sadness is difficult. its excruciating. it takes a hell outa ya. being cooped everyday doesnt help. feeling lost makes it worse.

chosing ur attitude and learning. i have to think.

Sick and tired of shitheads…. Stop talking abt me being gold medalist. Shithead.

syLvie

visited by an angel at 6:47 AM

0kisses of an angel

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