- seEk and U sHalL fiNd - All gOd's anGels coMe tO Us diSguiSed

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

So marks my first entry after many many years and it's shrouded by the abovementioned emotions.

Hoping this blog is so dead that only I will know this post lol.

It's ironic how we do not want things initially and when we don't get them in the end, we feel a sense of dejection because we really thought we could actually have a shot at it.

How fickle we humans are and how troublesome we can be.

Why can't I know exactly what I want? Why don't I know what I want?

My friend told me.. that it's a phase to be encountered. Through endless search, then will we know better what we want. Is it true? I hope so.

Hopefully all the things my friends say will come true. That eventually, we will find a job, a job we like, or may not like so much, but a job that will suffice for the time being. Hopefully, hopefully it will be soon.

Hopefully, I will learn from these experiences, hopefully, I will get positive replies soon. Hopefully, I will learn to not be dejected.

I shall embrace my elitism (as one has said, and many has indicated, merely due to my grades) and believe that I can do it.

sylvie.

seek and i shall find. the question is, have i actually been seeking hard enough? have i really asked myself hard enough wad i want in life? have i?

maybe it's time to start asking myself. and to stop procrastinating.

visited by an angel at 10:58 AM

0kisses of an angel

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Hello blog.

Been long since i last typed. Read my old entries and felt weird.. like. i'm so lame. haha.

Growing up fast. Miss the good old times. The close bonds. The sincerity of friends. I guess..growing up is indeed tough. But i will learn. I will embrace.

Many thoughts misunderstood. Many things unexpressed. Many things don't know how to express. Many things and events missed.

I don't really like this either. But.. it's probably for the better. I need to stop procrastinating. Need to have belief. Need to be strong. Need to.

Goodnite blog. Shall come vent once in a while again. Suffering from a headache. So this is how it feels.

Goodnite world. Goodnite my lovelies. Goodnite Mjkas. Goodnite friends. Goodnite everyone.

visited by an angel at 11:14 AM

0kisses of an angel

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Maybe...

It's time to just let go.

Time to not put it to heart.

Time for realization.

Time to learn to adapt.

Time.. to learn to be different.

Time.. for changes, independence and acceptance.

~Aslyn - That's when i love you~

Sylvie

visited by an angel at 11:37 AM

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

I feel like dying.. and like i'm dying.

It's a horrid feeling. cant describe.

I don't know whats the underlining reason for this weird behaviour.

I... I don't know anymore.

I.. I can't tolerate much longer.

I.. I can't sustain this level of tolerance and understanding and positive attitude nomore.

I.. I may not be who I want to be and thought i could be.

I.. I'm terribly tired of everything else.

I.. am.. lost for words.

help?

syLvie

visited by an angel at 7:52 AM

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Monday, May 14, 2007

Life sucks.

You think you've done right, but they think you're wrong.

You earn your right for something, but they take it, and when u request for some of it, they say you're calculative.

Money the root of all evils. I agree.

I better earn and save more. for my own future. A blindless, scary, penniless future. I so want to succeed, earn money, and be assured. I want to be able to support financially. I don't want to be buried under debts, under financial crises.

I hate all this. I wish I could do more about it. I need to earn and save. My future is really bleak right now. What can I do in future? What capabilities do I have? I need to figure..

-lost-

syLvie

visited by an angel at 8:18 AM

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Friday, May 04, 2007

Second round today..

Dunnoe eh... have the same not so good or shuang feeling as the Admissions Interview... Guess I'm trying a bit too hard already. Maybe I should just develop the 'If can get all the better attitude' again. That was how I kinda pulled through my First interview of the LKCSP anyway. Man. I dunnoe... do i really want the scholarship? Or am i just hoping to consider later on? Or am i just plain greedy and hoping to see if i can go all the way?

I dunnoe.. i feel lost actually. and actually am a very pessimistic person by nature. I feel that i can always talk so easily about other's problems, and trying to solve the problems for them. but like... when it comes to my own, i dun seem to have a solution.

Also, i kinda know that I am exaggerated, like my actions, reactions and words, and i panic EASILY, but... that's my nature, and it is not going to change immediately. I know that sometimes the things may not be suitable for the current situation. but its done rite? so no point crying over spilt milk. I worry easily, think too much, but if you have been my friends, you should know im like that. And its just not easy kicking this habit ok. Coz the thoughts just go through the head. It just irritates me by playng over and over. So i have to say it out... as an outlet! else i will really die of frustration. Just like this blog post! Its like its all in my head now. Making me really wanna kill myself. Gosh.

I need to get over it and suck it up!

i hate life.

i love nice things though.

i like meeting new people.

i love my family and friends.

i need to chill....

syLvie

sidenote. maybe im biased, but i feel that a discrimination still exists in U. Maybe im overly sensitive, but ya noe... people always say JC this and JC that. Are polys so insignificant? The first Qn this girl asked me when she met me and my friend (from poly too) was... so, which JC are you from? We were like.. having the 'get used to it' kinda feeling.

My interview group, i was the only one from Poly, save for another guy who transferred from NUS to SMU. three from RJ, one frm AJ. man.. its swamping with RJs..

eeeeee.

OH OH!! also, one RJ girl was saying her ntu accountancy is PENDING.... and when i heard it, i was so honoured and proud that Wei Li is already accepted, whereas hers is pending.. HAH. Polys OK!

HAH. bleagh~ T_-

Wah wah. my dad had to just irritated me by coming me and asking me abt the damn interview again. And when i told him that there was a possibility that i might get the scholarship but no admission to the school, he said stupid.. and i said ya la! then he walked out saying.. stupid school stupid people want. WTH!!! HE IS THE ONE who keeps egging me to go to SMU can! sickening lei. Parents are contradictory things. Irritating.

PUI.

visited by an angel at 10:02 AM

0kisses of an angel

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Friends.

What are they?

People have different connotations of them, with some being a shoulder to lie on, a listening ear, a good companion, someone who stops you from doing something wrong and someone who encourages us.

The ultimate underlining thing is tt.. all of us need friends, for different reasons, feelings, needs. Especially when some of our friends are prone to committing mistakes that they totally do not realize they are, and plunging head straight into deeeeeeep troubles, without realizing it at all.

It’s like they are diving into the deep ocean with a gas tank to start with. Then, they don't step back to survey the situation for a while, and just simply ignore the pressing oxygen shortage urgency. Instead, they immerse in the beauty and gloriousness of the ocean, but yet they dun realize the danger and trouble they are in – lack of oxygen.

Maybe I’m being cynical. Fine. But all I hope is that we will all look at the surroundings, understand what we are doing, before plunging into it. Safely. I won’t say I do everything carefully, flawlessly. It’s fine for us to make mistakes. But we have to realize them before they are too late. I know it’s easier said then done. That is why we have friends. To tell us before we are too late. And that is what I hope to be, and hope to have. 所谓旁观者清。

The above post is random.

I just felt I have to say it coz im really dissed off by something.

Chalet soon! And K box soon! And Sam, Wei, Al & Syl meetings soon.

For those who do not know, haha.. I’m currently trying out for a SMU scholarship.. called the Lee Kian Chong Scholars Programme. 3 rounds int.. and im in the second round. Haha!

But the weirdest thing is, I haven’t even gotten an acceptance by SMU. Haha. And also.. nt many ppl read the blog lor. HAHAHA!!

Tts besides the point. Hahaha

Ok… going off now. Cya all!! Rem! Syl loves all of u! I really do! Just tt I dun kiss or hug, doesn’t mean I dun! Haha!!

syLvie

visited by an angel at 8:31 AM

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